bye

im bleeding

Suffering from the unmet needs of flesh,

Needed to pay for the help, needed to pay for a body

Wish I were promiscuous, able to feel anothers love

Indulge myself in shallow sex with a different one more and more,

I’d keep it quiet; secret, discreet

After cigarettes cool down, they’ll be gone

Toss them one after another, wanting to soon feel electricity

Even after paid endeavors tonight,

I’m still alone.

I’d still like to have that man in my life.

I love him, in every way,

But his sentiments are not the same.

All I want to feel

Is nudity and passion

How lovely it must be for him

How lovely it must be for him to know that he broke me

Broke my bones, stabbed my heart

Burnt holes into my skin,

made me feel like jagged pieces of glass were piercing through me

It hurts that I won’t see him again

It hurts that we’ll no longer meet again

Just echoes and sadness

Happiness is a disease

It’s a mirror that you’re always looking into

A situation you’re sooner or later inherently bound to

Happiness keeps you dedicated

Stamps a scar on your heart for when it breaks

Happiness encourages sorrow

Plagues the psyche with bittersweet emotion

Happiness is all alone, getting drunk, buying sex, thinking of him during

Nothing else left in my life any longer,

It’d be best

to end it.

He innocently treated me to a picnic.

I purged it out, naturally.

I’m so, so hungry.

Date.

Don’t pretend just because we’re familiar with one another I’m just gonna outlandishly give you my identity.

I’m not going to give you one of the things that put me into dark desolation just because you ask for it.

Don’t do that.

Can I carry my own? Why, yes. Of course. Every human being is capable of repressing emotions; enveloping who they are within foreshadowing secrets and lies. Carrying your own is arguably the easiest thing to do in a lifestyle, arguably the loneliest.

Hello, how are you? How might you be? It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance. 

It’s puzzling how such simple introduction can lead up to beautiful anthesis.

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